Hey there, babe
by Evil Hamster God
Summary: It was 4 am when I wrote this. Enough said. For my dear friend, Ann.
1. Chapter 1

The electric lights of Inazuma town were sparkling like little stars in the urban night. Fudou was staring at them.

'Stupid lights.', he said and spit. He tried to light a cigarette, but the wind didn't let him. He cursed and flew the lighter. It was empty now. He started chewing his cigarette and walked into a dark alley. His long brown hair bounced unhappily down his shoulders. It started raining.

'Fuck this.' he said, looking up at the sky.

'You need a lighter for that?' a female voice behind him made him turn around. It was a girl indeed.

'You've got one, babe?'

She drew close to him and lighted the cigarette. He could get a better look at her. Nice face. He blew some smoke into it. She stepped on his foot.

It hurt like a bitch.

'It's raining, _babe_.' she said. Was she mocking him. 'You'll ruin your nice leather jacket.'

He looked at her and smiled. He slowly lifted his leg. The lifted a brow. He suddenly kicked very hard the wall behind him, and a door burst open. She could see a fridge and a table. He went in.

'You can come too, babe. You lit my cigarette, after all.' he shot her a wicked grin, which probably meant he had intended a weird meaning to that. She shrugged and went in. She was also wearing a new leather jacket, and these stuff costed lots of money.

She looked around the room.

'Name's Ann.', she said and put a cigarette in her mouth.

'Ann. Never seen you 'round here before babe.'

'No, I'm not from around here.' she lit the cigarette and looked around the room. There was a fridge and table, as she had seen, also a bed and a TV. There was also a pile of football magazines in one corner. She ignored them. 'So what's your name, babe?'

'You have to earn it, babe.', he said. 'I'm like a dragon, you know. Dragons only tell their names to people who deserve to hear them. Like, people who are close enough to the dragon to ride it. Catch my drift?'

She stuck her cigarette on a football magazine on the table. She burned the face of what she recognised was Fudou. 'Do you catch mine, babe?'

His smile went away and he gulped. He went to the fridge and took out two cans of beers. He threw her one of them. 'Well since you don't want to have fun this way, how can I entertain you?'

'How about you undress and I watch?' she sat on the bed and opened the beer.

'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?' he yelled. she raised an eyebrow.

He smiled and let his leather jacket fall to the floor. He then removed his T-shirt and then he was on top of her. She put the beer in her left hand as the right one pushed on his bare chest. He paid it no heed as he locked their lips in a kiss. She felt his tongue. She couldn't push him away.

Well, he was pretty. She carefully put the beer on the floor and then buried her left hand in his wavy brown hair.

Oh, wait a second.

The rain had stopped.

She got one of her feet under him and kicked hard.

He clutched at his stomach and rolled on the floor.

'What the fuck, woman?'

'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?' she yelled. He shut up and looked at her, horrified. 'Sorry, I have to go run on the stadium. Almost thought I'd missed today's run because of the stupid rain.' she bend down to retrieve the beer can, gulped it down and turned to the door.

'NO BABE DON'T GO!' he was chasing after her. She threw the empty can at him. And continued walking.

She didn't see how it hit his head and then his head hit the wall. Cursing, he looked at the can. She had somehow written her phonenumber on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Ann's phone rang. Unknown number. But she knew who that was.

'Hey babe, 'sup?' she answered. She let the pencil fall down on the desk and got up from the chair. She stretched while she awaited the response from the other side.

'Hey babe, how'd you know it was me?' a familiar voice. Fudou. She smiled and let herself fall on the bed.

'I felt gay waves from the phone and I knew it was you straight away babe.'

'I'll shut that mouth of yours, babe.' Fudou kicked the door of her room open and closed the phone.

'What the...How'd you get in here? ... Babe?'

'Well babe, let's say...I have my resources.' he winked at her and kicked the door back hard, closing it.

He was wearing a leather jacket again, and he had a cigarette in his mouth. His hair rebelled around his head, but did so in a predetermined manner.

'So, babe, why are you here?' she already knew.

'To continue what we started, babe.' he was coming closer and she realised she was still laying on the bed. She tried to get up, but he pinned her hands to the bed and then he simply sat on her. 'You'd be lying if you said you didn't like it, babe.'

'Get off me babe'

'Sorry babe, can't do that.' his face came close to hers and he grinned. One of his hands let go of hers and just as she was wondering where it was going, she felt her boobs being squeezed.

'Big ones you've got there, babe' he licked her ear and grabbed on harder.

'Fudou, babe, this isn't very comfortable...'

'Oh it doesn't matter. I'll make you feel real good soon...'

She tried kicking him off again. He just unbuttoned her shirt. He licked her left breast, and she could feel his hair on her face, his soft, wavy hair...

'Imma hurt ya real good babe' he whispered in her ear. She actually believed he would. Well nothing could be done now, I guess, she thought and just calmed down and let him handle everything.

'No struggling? Well I can't say I don't like obedient women...' his hand went down and he pushed down her pants with ease. It was fairly obvious he had done this a lot.

'Iot really the type who likes foreplay, though, babe...But it's alright...Once I'm in, it won't make any difference...' saying this, he actually pushed in. She let out a moan, but he quickly stiffled it with his own mouth, plunging his tongue deep in her throat. She was pretty good at this, he thought, she could probably tie cherry knots in her mouth, but he wasn't going to lose to a mere woman. He oushed in her again, and again, more roughly, as he still held her hands in one of his and a boob in his other one. He decided to let go of her hands and moved his free hand down to the other one. Ann grabbed onto him, one hand pushing his head down and deepening the kiss, the other tracing nails down his back.

'I'm coming babe' he broke the kiss to say and with one last thrust, he did. They lay still for a few moments, then he got up and zipped his pants up.

'Nice seeing you babe', he winked, stepped on the cigarette that was in his mouth 20 minutes ago, and calmly walked out of the room. He waved his hand, without stopping or turning back 'I'll come again sometime. You better have some tea and sweets to offer other than yourself, babe.'


	3. Chapter 3

Ann was walking down the streets, earplugs in her ears.

'The bigger the better, the bigger the better, the bigger the better,' she repeated, aprreciating Nelly Furtado's musical art.

Suddenly an elephant appeared.

'I am a hobbot,' the elephant said. Ann did not hear it though, so she just kept on walking.

'I can go fast, I can go slow.'

An elk jumped off the building next to her and landed gracefully before her, carrying a Fudou on its back.

He was wearing glasses.

Ann stopped and looked at him.

'I'll tell you a secret. When my shades come off, your panties will drop. If they aren't already off, babe.'

Ann remived her earplugs.

'Did you say something?'

'I said I'll remove my shades and you...'

'I'll draw them back in.'

'Wat'

'Yes. Now get off that massive elk and come here.'

Fudou got off the elk and came.

'Not that soon, dipshit!'

'It's alright. I'll make you glad I came.'

He pushed Ann into a back alley.

'Fudou.'

'Yes?'

'That roof's house is burning.'

'Let the motherfucker burn. NOW I'LL BE YOU SEXUAL FREAK!'

'I'LL BE YOUR INSPIRATIONAL SISTER!' Ann yelled and kicked Fudou in the stomach. She then sat on him.

'RIDE ON!' she then laughed at the apparent joke.

Fudou got up.

And the sun went down.

And then the stars went up.

And then Fudou went up.

And Ann went down.

And they kissed in the starlight.

But there was no starlight.

It was a Starless night.

'TAKE ME FUDOU! TAKE ME LIKE ONE OF THEM YUUS!'

'IMMA TAKE YOU AND PUT YOU ON MAH SHELVES! GET ON MAH HORSE!'

She hopped on his massive elk, which had followed them inside, and he gave her two soccer balls to hold.

He then took her by the hand and off they went to the enchancing galaxy of alpacas and hobbots.

And then they stopped.

'I KAND'T! I'VE BEEN GOING AT IT ALL NIGHT AND DAY BUT...I JUST...DON'T KNOW ANYMORE'

'WHAT DON'T YOU KNOW FUDOU'

':P'

Ann fisted his face.

'It's not rape if they're unconscious.' the elk whispered in her ear.

'Yes. Good.' she proceeded.

Fudou went deeper into the an

nihilation of the non-believers.

She was glad he had come many more times that night.

Meo: TEE HEE DERP IT WOULD HAVE HURT WITH NO GRASS


End file.
